Category Archives for "Unedited Thoughts"

A Place to Call Home

The call has been stirring in my heart for months to return to The School of Inner Beauty.

What is The School of Inner Beauty?

I started The School of Inner Beauty roughly 5 years ago to connect women with teachers and a community around the topics of health, happiness, relationships, and spiritual growth.

The first program had 40 students and 14 teachers and was an overwhelming success. In the followup program, I introduced a coaching program and brought on some new teachers and students, but I wasn’t able to keep it all going.

Since then, I lived a lot of life and have fulfilled on some very big dreams. I met my darling, Craig, was pregnant within 7 months, and we are now the very proud parents of Orion Kai, who is nearly 3 years old.

While I was pregnant, I worked with a team to create America’s first paleo TV show, “Camille’s Paleo Kitchen”, which I am super proud of, even though it did not receive the viewership we hoped for. After taking some time off from paleo to raise Orion, I returned to build Paleo Cooking School, which I am also very proud of. My decade-long aspiration to inspire and educate the world to cook was made realized with these creative endeavors, but I don’t have the passion I once had for food and cooking alone.

Last June, our family embarked on a trip to Maui that we expected would last 3 months. We’ve been here 10. In that time, I have SLOWED DOWN and the island has had her way with me. Maui is one of those places that has a really thin veil and I’ve heard many stories about how spiritually challenging it is to live here. She will chew you up and spit you out, they say.

During this extended season of contemplation, I’ve recognized that my work in the world needs to look much different than it has lately.

Where I am now

I’m not sure what exactly The School of Inner Beauty is going to be this time, but I know that the heart and the vision are the same: to create a community for women to give to and receive from their sisters. A safe place to see and be seen, to be nurtured and filled up so that we can do the work of our lives with grace and ease. 

They say that we teach what we must learn, and I believe this is true. I am now 38 years of age, and but for  brief periods, most of my life has been lived deeply out of balance.

Ever since I was young, I’ve been exercising the masculine yang energy inside of me to the detriment of the softer more feminine side. Becoming a mother has helped to bring these feminine, more nurturing aspects into my life, but I have yet to express the balance of these energies in my work.

As far as being a teacher of these principles, I can humbly say that I am not there yet, but I cannot let that continue to stop me from sharing my journey and supporting those who may just be starting on their path to living fuller and more balanced lives.

The best way I can see to serve others as I continue to find my own way is through sharing my stories and connecting you to other women who have some level of mastery in these “feminine arts.” That was the beauty of The School of Inner Beauty, and I hope that I can sustain it this time in a way I was not able to in the past.

Its an interesting paradox, this idea of ready or not ready to lead, to share ones gifts with the world.

On the one hand, I see so many sitting on their gifts, waiting for the perfect words and moment before taking action. “This must be perfect before it is released”, we say.

This is a trap, for the work is never done, it will never be perfect from the vantage point of the ego, who’s real goal is to keep itself safe inside the confines of mediocrity. When we hide our light and our gifts away, we lose and so do others.

I learned this lesson hard when I worked on a software called Recipe Rx in my 20’s for nearly 5 years. By the time I finally released it, the money was gone and so was the steam to really see it into the hands of those who needed it. I waited too long, mostly tinkering with the insides, and lacked the fortitude to push it out to the people it could best serve.

On the other side of sitting on our gifts too long, we have a wave of “life coaches” and “spiritual teachers” in the world who may or may not yet be ready to guide others on the path. Who haven’t earned their chops.

When I sit with this idea, I realize there is some potential judgement, for who am I to say who is ready or not ready to lead?

There may or may not be harm in this as we all have something of value to share at each step of our own evolution, and still, when there are large sums of money, big promises with little results for the customer, I can’t help but think some of these offerings are a bit premature.

So here I am again, not with this whole shiny offering of the 10 Steps to Inner Beauty all figured out, but with a deep yearning to share my journey, my stories, and the women (and men) who have most helped me with you. I hope to strike the right balance of humility and confidence, action and surrender and all of the other seeming paradoxes…but most of all my heart is to serve this great unfolding and awakening of this divine feminine in each of us so that it can radiate to our spouses, our children, our workplace, our community and most of all, our individual selves.

Thank you for reading and taking your own journey to opening your heart and sharing your gifts with the world.